


Of Dogs and Flats

by heartofspells



Series: Of Dogs [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-22 18:33:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartofspells/pseuds/heartofspells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus moves in with Sirius.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Dogs and Flats

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for The Dialogue Challenge over at the HPFC forum.
> 
> Challenge Rules: (1) Over 500 words, (2) Pure dialogue
> 
> Prompts: Emotion: compassion; Object: flag

“Just put that down right there, Sirius. The rest of those are books, too.”

“Well, what if I don’t want to put it down here? What if I want to set it down over there next to _my_ books so that they can all chat and yours can be corrupted?”

“Honestly, Sirius. Why do you have to dispute everything I say out of some twisted glee you get from it? And get your finger out of my face! I’m not your bookshelf.”

“I’m not twisted.”

“Oh, don’t pout. Did I say you were twisted? No, I said your glee was twisted.”

“Same thing.”

“Now you’re mumbling. Don’t act so immature. I can’t help it if you read between the lines.”

“Oi! I’m not immature! And you’re the one who put the lines there to be read between, so it’s _your_ fault.”

“Again with the lines! I never said you were immature. I said you were _acting_ like it.”

“And again, completely your fau – Oi! I hear you grumbling over there. What did you say?”

“Absolutely nothing.”

“Hmm, funny. I thought I heard mutterings of books and painful uses of them against a certain unnamed place on my body. Perhaps I should have my ears checked.”

“And to think, you call me sarcastic.”

“Well, I learned it from the best, Moonykins.”

“Oh, stop smirking, Sirius. It’s unbecoming…So was that snort.”

“Well I – What? Why are you staring at me like that?”

“I’m simply curious as to whether you plan on holding that box full of admittedly quite heavy books for the rest of the day?”

“…I thought we hadn’t determined where it was being placed yet.”

“Wonderful cover, Pads, but I caught your embarrassment through your hesitation.”

“Shows how well you know me, Moony. It wasn’t embarrassment, it was surprise.”

“Surprise, eh? Just what were you so incredibly surprised about then?”

“Why, to find that I was indeed still holding said box. I am ever so manly and strong that I did not even notice its weight…Oi! What’s with the skeptical eyebrow? Would you look at these muscles?”

“Just for the record, Sirius, flexing those muscles doesn’t work quite as well when you’re actually holding something.”

“Which probably explains why that something is now scattered all across the floor, yeah?”

“I’d say that would be an accurate assumption, yes. And you don’t have to impress me anymore, Pads. I’m here, aren’t I? I’m moving in.”

“Yeah, you are, but you could just as easily move back out when you finally get bored with me…Don’t laugh! It isn’t funny!”

“It is actually, Sirius.”

“Oh, really? What part?”

“Now, don’t pout again. The fact that you think I could _ever_ grow bored of you is what’s funny.”

“Don’t scoff. It could happen, you know. The novelty might wear off quicker than you think…Stop looking at me like that.”

“You’re really worried about that, aren’t you? Me leaving, I mean.”

“Of course not. Why would you ever think that?”

“Sirius –“

“Here, come help me pick these up. One of us is going to trip over them.”

“…I won’t leave, Sirius. I promise you that. It hurts to even think about it…Er, I think you’re strangling my book, you’re holding it so hard. Here…Ah, now you’re breaking my hand.”

“Do you swear, Remus?”

“I swear, Sirius. I’ll never leave you.”

“Good. I don’t think I could – I couldn’t –“

“I know, Pads.”

“Yeah…”

“It’s nice to see that you have a bit of compassion buried in there after all. James and Pete will be pleasantly surprised.”

“Oi! I’ll have you know that I’m chock bloody full of compassion. Straight up to my eyeballs.”

“Oh, is that what that is? I always thought it was arrogance.”

“Moony!”

“What?”

“Oh, don’t play innocent with me. You know good and well what you said. Evil, rotten, no-good werewolf.”

“Being a werewolf had nothing to do with that. Being friends with the three most infamous trouble-makers Hogwarts has ever seen for seven years, on the other hand…well, that probably had quite a bit more to do with it.”

“Now you’re just being snarky.”

“According to you, it’s what I’m best at.”

“And books.”

“Yes, and books.”

“Speaking of, are you planning to help me with these or aren’t you?”

“Keep your trousers on, I’m coming.”

“You know, I’d like to get my hands on the person who said moving was easy. It’s bloody exhausting.”

“I don’t actually think anyone has ever said that, Pads.”

“Doesn’t matter. I never knew you had so many things, Remus. All these boxes…I’ll have nightmares for weeks! I feel as though I’m living in a cardboard city…Cor! I almost forgot!”

“Merlin, Sirius, you almost gave me a coronary! Wha – Hey! Where are you going? Sirius, come back here! Sirius!”

“Get your knickers out of their bunch, Moony. I’m back.”

“What was that all – Er…Sirius, what _is_ that thing?”

“It’s a flag, of course.”

“Sirius, that is a pair of pants that has been – Have you actually _drawn_ on those?”

“Don’t mock. You’ve no idea how long it took me to make this.”

“I honestly don’t think I could mock even if I wanted to. You’d think after seven years you wouldn’t be able to surprise me anymore, but somehow, you always manage to.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should, though I loathe to see what you do with that knowledge.”

“…”

“So, er…the flag?”

“Flag? Oh, yeah, flag! Right! I hereby dub this Marauder territory!”

“Did you actually just hang that thing over the curtain rod?”

“Of course I did.”

“Why?”

“Because it has to be displayed for all to see. Sort of like those Americans did when they landed on the moon.”

“Ah, I see. So…what is on this…’flag’, exactly?”

“Well, it’s a Marauders’ flag, so us, of course. See, there’s Prongs in the back with Wormtail on his head. And we’re in the front, of course, since it’s our flat. See the heart over our heads? I thought it was a nice touch.”

“Oh yes, very nice. Erm…why does Prongs look like a tree monster?”

“He doesn’t! Other than the drawing of you, he looks the best of all of us.”

“Well, I suppose I have to admit that you’re right about that.”

“I knew you’d see my genius if you looked at it long enough. I have to say that I’m quite proud of it.”

“Well, while you admire your artwork, I’m going to go and sort out the kitchen.”

“Hmm, all right……Moony, no, wait!”

“…”

“Er…Moony, I just remembered, I need to show you something. Come back out here.”

“…”

“Remus…?”

“Sirius, I thought I told you there would only be _one_ mattress in the flat?”

“Er, well, I couldn’t find a strong enough kitchen table…Wow, that’s an impressive face…Now, Moony, just calm down; we can talk about – Yipes!”

“Padfoot, you mongrel! Stop running off with your tail between your legs and face me like the man you actually are instead of the mutt you’re pretending to be now! Hide under the bed all you want, I’ll find a way to drag you out eventually!”


End file.
